04 June 2006

A promissary note to all of my girlfriends...

...because some days, which apparently are in full swing now, require more patience with the human race than others. So many of my dear 'sisters' are contemplating homicide (only joking, folks) of their significant others. And, no, the moon is not yet full nor is everyone having a severe bout of PMS. Even some of my gay friends are complaining.

I normally don't pass these things along, except for the carefully selected forwarded email joke. But since I've repeated it often as of late and everyone seems to have loved it (well, everyone of the female persuasion, anywho), I'm posting it here. Don't know who the author is...if you know, please drop me a comment so I can give credit where credit is due. Parts of it are a little cutesy, to be sure, but not everyone has my sense of humour. ("Thank God", the world sighs in relief.) Otherwise, enjoy.

Are you tired of all those sissy friendship poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speaks to true friendship:

1. When you are sad...I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry jerk who made you sad.

2. When you are blue...I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile...I will know that you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared...I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried...I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

6. When you are confused...I will use little words.

7. When you are sick...stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall...I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath. I pledge it until the end. Why?, you may ask. Because you are my friend.

Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body! Let me know if I ever need to bring the shovel!

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