21 December 2006

Better Late Than Never...Feliz Navidad!

Well, it's now December 21 around here. And now, to much the relief of discount retailers everywhere, I'm finally into the Christmas (read: not commercial Christmas) spirit. Approximately three months too late for many of them, but I've still got 4 days to find myself the perfect book and new bubble bath. (I do find myself easier and easier to please as I age). I did bring out the miniature fake tree with irritating little bells...and in five minutes flat, Christmas decorating was done. WR made me a regular size Christmas bulb decoration (complete with palm trees...he knows my heart is heavy for the Southern Land) and it's the about a third of the entire little tree. It won't be Oz for Christmas like last year (er, rather, en route to Oz somewhere over the Pacific), but I'll make the best of it still the same.

If you, too, are having problems getting into the spirit of the season, may I humbly offer up my three all-time fave Christmas songs (all videos from YouTube, as is the standard here)...

Porky Pig®'s "Blue Christmas"

This song actually was done by a comedian in the 1980s, I think, but I have yet to find the gentleman's name...it's just become a cult hit and is just requested around here as "Porky's Christmas" (or something akin to that title, anyway). I'd love to know the full story about this song and the comedian, but I always end up just laughing like the guy in the background every time it comes on. Aside from Chilly Willy® and Pepe Le Pew®, Porky Pig® reigns supreme among male cartoons. (Betty Boop® is the undeniable women's champ.)

Bare Naked Ladies and Sarah McLachlan in "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"

I happen to really love this song, especially for its harmony. While the BNL boys from Canada are great, Sarah McLachlan really adds something to this. A bit of an odd choice from these musicians, as I always under the impression neither were particularly 'religious', maybe not particularly 'spiritual' even. The ending's a little shaky (like The Beach Boys and Jan & Dean doing "Help Me, Rhonda" after a few takes, errors and all), but it's really a decent song to listen and sing along to. It's even better to whistle to when shopping for the 80% off sales.

And finally, our winner of the season. Practically a state law to play this at Christmas back in my home state in the Midwest...take that as you will.

The Dixie Chicks and Rosie O'Donnell in "Merry Christmas From the Family"

Words fail me to properly describe how great...and accurate...this song is if you've ever been apart of and/or watched holiday get-togethers in mobile home trailer parks across the US. This is the kind of stuff that inspired "The Dukes of Hazzard" to ever be created in the first place. Robert Earl Keen, the songwriter of this masterpiece, knew the 'people' very well indeed...and it shows. Read and follow along with the lyrics below (from Leo's Lyrics) if you're unfamiliar with this tasteful classic. It also clearly represents why American culture may not be as fondly remembered as to that of, well...anybody else...in generations to come.

Merry Christmas From The Family
written by: Robert Earl Keen

Mom got drunk,
And dad got drunk,
At our Christmas party,
We were drinkin' champagne punch and
homemade eggnog.

Little sister brought her new boyfriend,
He was a Mexi-can,
We didn't know what to think of him,
Til he sang 'Feliz-Navidad',

Brother Ken brought his kids with him,
The three from his first wife Lynn,
And the two idenitical twins
From his second wife Mary-Nell,
Of course he brought his third wife Kay,
Who talks all about A-A,
Chain-smokin' while the stereo plays
'No-el, No-el',
The First No-el

Carve the turkey,
Turn the ballgame on,
Mix margharitas when the eggnog's gone,
Send somebody to the Quick-Pack Store,
We need some ice and an extension cord,
A can of bean dip and some Diet-Rite,
A box of tampons, some Marlboro Lights,
Halleluhah, everybody say 'cheese',
Merry Christmas from the fam-i-ly!

Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen,
I can't remember how I'm kin to them,
But when they tried to plug their motorhome in,
They blew our Christmas lights.
Cousin David knew just what went wrong,
So we all waited out on our front lawn,
He threw a breaker and the lights came on,
And we sang 'Silent Night',
'Oh-Silent Night',
'Oh-Holy Night'

Carve the turkey,
Turn the ballgame on,
Make Bloody-Mary's',
'Cause we all want one!
Send somebody to the Stop-&-Go,
We need some celery and a can of fake snow,
A bag of lemons and some Diet-Spite,
A box of tampons, some Salem Lights,
Halleluhah, everybody say 'cheese',
Merry Christmas from the fam-i-leeeeeeeee!

Fel-iz Na-vi-dad!

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