What counterattacks are missing from "The Clinton Battle Plan"

Thought I'd take a few moments today and comment on a very interesting article I read from Newsweek magazine, entitled "The Clinton Battle Plan". Essentially it lays out how the ex-President Bill Clinton still wields enormous political power, and will certainly use it to help his wife, Democratic NY Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton if (but more likely when) she decides to run for President herself. She won her recent re-election to the Senate handily, has a war chest of campaign funds set up with additional excellent fundraising avenues, and is considered by many to be the presumptive nominee for 2008...again, providing she decides she wants to run.

The article also features some potential roadblocks to that presumed Democratic nomination...everything from her lack of Bill's charisma, to her position of initially (and, in many ways, still supporting the Iraq war), to a very likely fellow candidate in the popular (and African-American) Illinois Senator Barack Obama. It also touches very briefly on some of the political missteps as a First Lady with Bill...namely, her very revolutionary yet heavy-handed proposal of universal health care (a concept that was not embraced by many in Congress back in 1992, but now, 14 years later and with medical costs and the numbers of uninsured Americans skyrocketing, it would now get a far more sympathetic ear). While Newsweek has put together a pretty thorough argument, I kept waiting for its discussion on the issues that really seem to make Hillary such a lightning rod of division here. Issues that, unfortunately for her and for the political values I support, I think will lose her the general election if she does run for President in 2008.

Here are some of the unmentionables that Newsweek failed to tackle:

In some areas of this country, she is vehemently hated. Regardless of political affiliation, economic situation, educational background, or countless other factors, she is just hated by some and has been for a number of years, to a degree even that elicits more emotion than expected. Whereas her husband seemed 'down home' enough to be able to talk to voters of perhaps a 'lesser status' than he, Hillary has never been quite able to pull that off and many times not really tried. She will have a problem obviously with conservative swing voters (which she will need in 2008, as the country is hugely divisive still), she will have a problem with the less-educated because she comes off as 'better' than them (unless Bill does all of her campaigning in that area, which then poses the question just exactly who are they voting for? Hillary? Or Bill again?), she will have a problem with the rural voters because she seems 'out of touch' with their concerns. The heavily dominant 'blue' Democratic states on either coast hold vast number of supporters for her; but in the 'flip flop' states or 'red' Republican states, she faces a huge PR battle that far outweighs the political one.

At the end of the day, she is seen as elitist liberal Democrat to many. This is unfair on many levels, but within the working-class party of Harry Truman, an 'elitist' tag can be as beneficial as carrying an 'gravedigger' one during the Plague. Like John Kerry, she does not seem at ease with the 'country folk' of this nation...and with all due respect to my friends in NY state, farmers in New York are not the same as farmers in Oklahoma, or Iowa, or Colorado, or Louisiana. And in a time when the word 'liberal' has been vastly overused in the popular media, the fact that Hillary can be quoted from Bill's impeachment investigation days about the"vast, right-wing conspiracy" is going to make her look like the liberal poster hellion every Republican warned you about. Former President Clinton was right when he told Democrats that the voters had given them a chance, and not a mandate. He stressed how the country wants unity among the parties and things to get done for a change. That said, remaking battle-warrior wife Hillary (a warrior who got him elected through her tough 'in the trenches' mode approach, frankly) into something more 'equally appetizing' for all affiliations is a tough row to hoe. The plus side: she may just get elected President. The negative: she may look like she will change her current position from her old one just to get elected, i.e., the old 'flip flop' politician we all have come to love to hate.

Then there comes the 'woman voter' issue. For the life of me, as a female American voter from a family who takes our past and present contributions and duties to this country very seriously, I am always a bit flabbergasted when I hear fellow women state they would gladly vote for a female President...as long as it was not Hillary. Logic could lead one to think women voters would support, perhaps even campaign for and be happy for, a female candidate for the highest job in the land...but apparently not in this case. Regardless of the issues, regardless of her opponent, regardless of the race...just a steady, unswervingly blanket 'no' if Hillary is involved from some.

Back in the 1990s when I first heard this, I wrote this off as some women believing Hillary had gotten her role with then Vice-President Al Gore (or perhaps even that of Bill's) confused and emotions would settle down. Unfortunately, I was in error to shrug this off so quickly. Through the Lewinsky scandal, through her initial campaign to become a NY Senator, through her current tenure as one of the most powerful Senators in the country...the animosity among some women against Hillary has remained strong. A sampling of responses I've had over the last 10 years on this subject: Hillary's seen as anti-religious among the God-fearing set due to some of her political and moral beliefs (especially abortion rights and stem cell research); too ambitious and 'ballsy' for a woman among the traditional set due to her determination to be a 'heavily-involved with policy' First Lady; too 'stand by your man' (oh the irony) from the feminist set due to all of Bill's alleged affairs; and too unwilling to put her husband and family first (and presumably giving up her career) among the soccer mom and mini-van crowd. And here's a capper: almost entirely, these comments came from Democratic and/or liberal women voters, and not even from the base groups most likely to complain about Hillary. There never seems to be a shortage...I'm sure I could go out today, have the same discussions, and come back with some new complaints. I don't even know how to address the arguments of women who say Hillary shouldn't be elected 'because a woman President would be too weak in times of war'. Who actually knows what's valid or not with any or all of these theories, or what will eventually play in the hearts of women if (when) faced with a Hillary nomination for President in the voter's booth. But, as any man will tell you, women don't change their set opinions easily...and to carry her own gender, Senator Clinton will have to do a lot of campaigning to convince these women they were and/or wrong about her.

And finally, let's not forget about sex. Yes, folks, I said sex. The public relations images of Bill possibly of (a) getting too much, or of (b) getting not enough, or of (c) 'degrading' the American public with his oral sex/Monica Lewinsky antics, or of (d) trying to do everything he could (in fact, perhaps trying to change the dialogue of what is is, among other classics) to not have to admit he had extramarital 'relations/non-relations' with any woman, let alone Monica. As much as Bill is charismatic and smart and well-prepared, Hillary will always be the cold, aloof-like, statue of a long-suffering wife shackled to his unsavoury past, no matter how much is true or not. To survive the tawdriness of the attacks surely to come, she will have to appear to be even more stoic, even more down to business, and even more detached from the past scandals...and how does that approach win any more voters then? It's beyond ironic when one realizes Hillary's best asset...Bill...is also her biggest Achilles' heel.

In a country as uptight about sex as ours is, far lesser people have been brought down (and far more recently) with far, far less sexual 'ammunition' (whether implied or real). In Europe and in even in many parts of Asia, Bill's indiscretions would never have caused anything more than a small blip on the political radar. 'Boys will be boys' and all that standard shrugging. But this is America, where guilt is not only first assumed of our public figures and celebrities, it's searched out, propagated, and fertilized at an amazing pace. We, as a society, don't seek out the Jimmy Stewart characters anymore...good is dull...but we want the Jimmy Hoffas. As good as her policies may or may not be if she's elected, Hillary's going to be overshadowed by the image of a woman who couldn't manage her own private affairs at home, affairs that are so 'public' now that she can't hide behind the 'privacy' gates anymore (not that certain members of the current 'press' would abide by that request with anyone these days). True, marriage stress and public questions about infidelity are extremely unfavourable situations for anyone...and not something foreign to countless millions of American (nor international) households. But women, and especially women public figures, are held to a higher personal standard than their male counterparts...I doubt seriously if anyone even cares if John McCain needs a facelift, but online polls by the dozen dissect Hillary's appearance regularly. Hell, questions about her rumoured new use of Botox® even made her re-election campaign and the hallowed print of Fashion & Style in The New York Times. Hillary is not only supposed to be smart and savvy, but it's also expected that she be desireable, too. Politics is always full of mud-slinging, but it's tougher to remove the dirt if it's caked in with the lipstick and blush.

How will this whole affair end? Will she run, or won't she because of the above, and other reasons? Time and more importantly, money, will tell. For what it's worth, though, I think she should hold off until 2012 at least...if she ever does run. Get some more experience under her belt and perhaps garner even more political clout under her own wings...and becoming a tad bit more centrist wouldn't hurt her in the pursuit of the undecided/independent voters. By 2012, Hillary's public experience will be equal to that of Bill's (counting his years as Governor of Arkansas), and she'll also have more time to 'distance' herself from the constant controversy that dogged his Presidency. Time may be a healer, after all...but who's to know if it can also create forgiveness. With any luck, though, by 2012 the world will be an improved place by then and America will be back on its way to reestablishing a positive respect with its global neighbours. Besides, given the holy mess that Bush, Cheney, and Halliburton et al, have done for us so far to date...who really would want the job in '08, anyway??

An ode to the joys of Thanksgiving

This is the classic 'comedy' version of "The Thanksgiving Song" sung by comedians Adam Sandler and (with late accompaniment by his partner in tune) Kevin Nealon.

The song is such a hit it has become much beloved by Sandler fans and non-Sandler fans alike. So popular, in fact, that Sandler performed the song 'live' in his off-TV stand-up shows...and released it even as a holiday cult-favourite FM single, complete with lots of audience participation. (Although I like this version, the radio single makes references to Cheryl Tiegs posters, masturbation, baby oil, and a host of other things...things I always think about during my Thanksgiving repast.)

No better song has ever been written about the joys of wearing corduroys. Or Sammy Davis, Jr.'s eye disability. Or the joys of sweet potato pie...

Happy Thanksgiving to all today, and *please* think of those less fortunate and hungry this holiday, and help as you can.

This video, as always, is from YouTube.

I'll take a bucket of humanity to go with that new image, thanks

There have two new announcements this past week in the news that really have me seeing red. In both cases, a great opportunity to acknowledge (and God forbid, actually help) the hungry and poor in this country has been passed up in some promotional zeal to be 'image-conscious'. It's troubling to me and also very disappointing. Why it's more important for a worldwide company and the US government to keep spending money changing 'perception' instead of doing public outreach that would forever solidify respect with their customers...I don't think I will ever fully understand.

The first of these two, on the surface, seems harmless enough. The much-frequented institution of Kentucky Fried Chicken® has just started an updating of its image worldwide. And not only is the chain of fast-food restaurants having the redo (with a new one opening about every day now in China!...between them and Wal-Mart®, can't wait to see what the Chinese feel about us in 10 years or so), but also their beloved icon and late founder, Colonel Saunders, is getting an image facelift as well. To celebrate the Colonel's new look, KFC® decided to relaunch his image in such a way that everybody would take note...if everybody was in space or perhaps used Google Earth repeatedly over the Nevada desert. (I, for one, only use Google Earth over places that have actual landmarks I'd like to see, although admittedly the Sydney maps need some desperate cleaning up. But that's probably just a quirk of mine.) They decided to make the newly improved Colonel's image the "Face from Space". (I could not make this stuff up if I tried.)

From atretailmedia.com:

KFC Creates First Brand Visible From Space

Louisville, K.Y.-based KFC Corp., a division of YUM! Brands Inc., became the world's first brand visible from outer space by unveiling a record-breaking 87,500-sq.-ft., updated Colonel Sanders logo in the Area 51 desert. The event marks the official debut of a massive global re-image campaign that will contemporize 14,000-plus KFC restaurants in more than 80 countries over the next few years. KFC's new fresh look updates the brand icon and spans all visual elements from logo to restaurant design, advertising, packaging, uniforms and more.

The new logo depicts Colonel Sanders with his signature string tie, but for the first time, replaces his classic white, double-breasted suit with a red apron. The apron aims to symbolize the home-style culinary heritage of the brand. The massive logo, which was referred to as the "Face from Space" by the project team, took more than 3,000 hours [ed: 24 days] to create from inception to launch and was built by Synergy. The logo consists of 65,000 1-ft.-by-1-ft. painted tile pieces that were assembled like a giant jigsaw puzzle--6,000 red; 14,000 white; 12,000 eggshell; 5,000 beige and 28,000 black. A state-of-the-art GEO satellite captured the image of the logo as it circled the Earth at an altitude of 423 miles.

This is only the fourth time in more than 50 years that the logo has changed.

To see an image of the logo go to www.kfc.com.

Honest to God, folks, I see nothing wrong with rebranding an image and have no problems with advertising. I consider myself a capitalist...a progressive capitalist, maybe, but capitalist still the same. I have nothing wrong with KFC® nor with any of their menu (except the gravy, they should rework that awful brown gravy mix). But here's a thought that would have been (a) a big boon to their business, (b) a great PR moment showcasing goodwill, and (c) a damn sure better use of their money: give some food away to the hungry in each of the communities where they have a store. For all the cost of the land buying/rental, the logo design on the tiles, the workers for the tiles, the painting, the installation, the satellite photography (oh, bloody hell!), and the promotion, ad nauseum of "The Face" project...the YUM! Brands, Inc., (the corporation that operates KFC®, Pizza Hut®, Taco Bell®, Long John Silver's®, and A&W® restaurants worldwide) probably would have been able to feed a few towns. I'm not even saying YUM! would have to donate indefinitely or a certain percentage of their profits (which would both be highly commendable, but I'm sure won't happen...I am a realist on some things). But even if they had donated food to equal just the number of days it took the whole "Face from Space" extravaganza from development to unveiling, who knows how many people they could have helped. I'm much more inclined to support a company that, although a part of a large international corporation, doesn't forget the local communities and customers that make that business successful...and not support a company that has lost touch with the very 'working class people' base their founder once so heavily recruited. A good number of those 'working class people' are having it tough.

While the costs vary depending on what part of the world you're in, locally here in North Carolina it costs just $1.79 USD to feed one person a meal. I'm not even sure you can get a 99¢ sandwich and a soda for less than that in KFC® or any of its sister restaurants anymore. In places like Latin America and Africa, it's far less cost a day, but the demand is far greater. Even the new 'wild East' of consumerism, China, is rife with needy and hungry people. Forgive me, sci-fi fans, Trekkies, Scientologists, and other intergalatic-leaning readers for what I am about to say: I don't care about the hungry Martians or Plutonians (now that Pluto's lost 'planet citizenship', I know I'd be paying a visit here to have some words with those who made that decision). I care instead about all the hungry and starving people we already have here. It's just a damn shame that the "Face" was mindlessly sent to space, when it could have been gracing delivery trucks of food to some very deserving food kitchens.

Conversely, but along those same lines of 'they did what again?' question, the US government (at Lord only knows at what expense) this past week has declared there are no more hungry Americans. But, before you start thinking that Dubya and Co. have finally solved one increasing problem during their tenure...let go of that positive fantasy. Instead, as only my federal government can do, they've decided that 'hungry' and/or 'hunger' is simply not the correct terminology anymore. Instead, people with little or no food just have 'very low food security'. Oh, now that has a much more positive spin on things. With no disrespect to my fellow former British Empire cousins, I feel an uncommon urge now to have crumpets and tea, and make sure my ever-so-stylish millinery hat is on properly.

Where I come from, to say someone has low 'security' about something implies they don't have the intestinal fortitude or inner courage on some front to stand on their own in some fashion...and they are generally thought of as lesser people because of it. Much like the comic strip character Linus® in the Charlie Brown® series is about giving up his baby blanket, the whole lack of security image promotes neediness, clinginess even, in an avoidance to 'grow up'. Perhaps right, perhaps wrong, but the unspoken implication with the word 'insecurity' (which is what the 'very low' is saying, in truth) is that it's something that can be changed if one just puts their mind to the goal somehow. You're insecure about your career path? Go train for another in a different field if need be. You're insecure about your love life? Have a sit-down with your lover or go find a counselor to help. But here's the rub, folks: the hungry, the homeless, the uninsured and truly financially needy in this country...most of them are trying and don't want to be in their current state of affairs, but can't get ahead enough to break the cycle. It's not lack of initiative on their part (although I grant there will always be several to abuse the program), but a breakdown of the system we pay tax dollars to fund and support. If you follow Lou Dobbs' discussion about the "War on the Middle Class" over on CNN, you'll also acknowledge that the gap of those who will have 'low food security' is only growing, not lessening. While I'd like to say I'm stunned, I'm not. I am profoundly disappointed, though. And I have to wonder how many meals could have been provided if we'd spent the money for this 'change' on hunger, instead of coming up with a symantic 'feel-good' option to not even say the word. Guilt is a very strong motivator, but not strong enough, apparently.

What next? The umpteen million Americans who don't have (or perhaps don't even want, let alone afford) a home of their own suffers 'very low home ownership security'? We don't have 'poor' people anymore, folks...we just have ones with 'very low income security'. We don't have an out of control illegal alien situation in this country, we instead have visitors with a 'very low security of American rights and law protections'. It just sounds so posh now, doesn't it? Why didn't we think of this before?? Oh yeah, right, we have...it was called whitewashing and it didn't work to solve our problems then, either.

I wonder what would happen if the Colonel® did lure in some visitors from outer space. And while I could care less if they would buy the crispy or the original versions of the chicken, I do wonder what they would think if they happened across the hungry person looking through the restaurant's dumpsters for food. Would they see the same economic breakdown that I do?? Would they wonder how this could happen, and continues to happen at an alarming rate here, like I do?? Or would they instead contemplate how we, as a race of people, could focus on global advertising yet simulataneously not make some food available to those with 'very low food security'?? Or would they, like me, wonder how many people could not even afford to eat at Kentucky Fried Chicken® these days...no matter where they saw the ad.

Questionnaire: Your Top 5

Author's note: a few people have inquired about the music reviews and/or commentaries I've been working on for the last month or so, five of them in total, in fact. In theory, I had an arrangement to have them posted to my critics column elsewhere first, and then I can pull them over and put them up here. I specifically chose that option in hopes of giving some of these very deserving acts a much bigger audience of readers than frankly they could ever get here. Unfortunately for reasons I still have yet to comprehend, those reviews are 'being held' for some sort of grouping at a later date...despite ruining the timeliness of the reviews themselves. So I've fired off a letter to the editor there to see if these reviews can be published by 1 December. If not...as I've warned him there and will certainly follow through here...I plan on publishing all the reviews (and accompanying photos) here first. I sincerely apologize to all of those acts who I had mentioned about reviewing but have not published those yet...especially my local Irish band faves, Hercules Mulligan.

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In the interest of doing a little self-education, I took some time yesterday and did some reading, an activity I have to try and do more and more of during the colder weather months as generally I just want to stay in and vege in front of the telly by nature. I'm planning on doing some additional educational coursework starting in January, too, this year. (Yes, I do hate the winter months, and even have a calendar that counts down the days until spring begins...I only survived last year as well as I did because 5 weeks of the season was spent in Oz, during their summer.) So this winter I have decided to throw my focus onto education and career development, in the hopes that if my mind is fully engaged, my overall spirit will follow suit. While I am quite happy as a solitary person in general, the winter months bring on a series of bad personal memories for me, too. I don't get depressed or anything, but I do get very anxious for the rebirth of nature to begin. And God knows how easily I get bored.

Anywho, purely by accident last week at a local thrift bookshop, I ran across a book (a handwritten manuscript, actually, just bound together with worn fasteners) that's had me intrigued for days now. (Living in an university environment, there is absolutely no shortage of unheard of books or unpublished manuscripts.) In it, this would-be self-help author has a series of tests and questionnaires to help you 'weed out' the goals and thoughts that may be holding you back from accomplishing your dreams. Ideally, being the 'idea-a-second' Aquarian that I am, this is right up my alley. Aquarians such as myself (and our close cousins the Gemini) are never short of ideas, but frequently lack the execution to make those ideas come to fruition. I think that's why I so often seek the 'movers' of people to pair up with, so maybe they'll teach me to move along as well. Sometimes I look at my now dozens of journals over the years (and I'm a big subscriber of the Leonardo da Vinci school of journaling, although mine is minus the backwards writing and absolute genius of The Master's notebooks, obviously) and wonder what would happen if I turned the 'idea' part of my brain off and my 'mad scientist/inventor' part of my brain on. I've not made it far into the manuscript yet, but the following was the fourth 'assessment' and I found it a bit enlightening when I did it. According to the manuscript notes, assessments such as this one can help you see what is really important to you...and perhaps also show you where you're not following that path. I thought I'd share it here, along with my responses (responses in italics immediately following the question). By all means, comments are certainly welcome (as always, folks).

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The Questionnaire: Your Top 5

1. You have just been notified to evacuate your home and you have 10 minutes to gather up what you want to take with you. What you do not take will be lost forever. You are the only one home to do the evacuation, and you can only take 5 things total. What do you take with you and why?

Well, I'm going with groups of things, otherwise I'll be very unhappy: photos (trips, family, classic Hollywood memorabilia), chest of souvenirs from Oz trips, chest of souvenirs from other trips, my journals, and a flash drive with contents from all the computers here (*mental note: need to get a much bigger flash drive)...I think I'd take all of these things because they represent things I could not replace and represent a lot of happy times, whether I was traveling away or creating new things at home

2. Same situation and same restrictions as above, but this time you're evacuating the home of a friend or loved one that you've been house sitting. What 5 items do you choose to take away for them and why?

Any pets (presuming no other humans walk in) come to mind first, then photos...both of these represent items that can't be replaced. Then I'd probably make a quick look for any important papers like insurance or what have you, as that would be needed immediately. Finally, I'd probably try to load up any favourite things I knew they liked (stuffed animals, a painting, etc.), because they could use that to start over with. And if I had the time, I'd take a digital camera to take some pictures of all the rooms before I left...again, something as a memento for the person to have.

3. You've just been accepted into a high-paying research study, set in a wonderful resort of your choosing. You will not have a cell phone, TV, Internet, or radio. You can, however, bring books with you but with one condition: the books have to be reflective of you somehow. You are limited to 5 books total. What 5 books do you take with you and why?

This is going to be a very varied book list, but here goes: "Brave New World" by Huxley, "Pride and Prejudice" by Austen, "The Prince" by Machiavelli, "The Grapes of Wrath" by Steinbeck, and "The Histories" by Herodotus. There are so many more I'd love to include, but I could live with this list well (but would beg to include "The History Of The Decline And Fall Of The Roman Empire" by Gibbon). Why these? Simple...everything you ever wanted to know about the human condition lies herein, and all can teach us something new with every reading.

4. To survive, you have to be separated from the rest of society for an undetermined amount of time...you have some rare, untreatable disease that could be fatal to not only yourself, but to others. You tell your friends and family, who are devastated at the prospect of losing you, of possibly never seeing you again. Some of them still want to come see you somehow, even if it means they may be exposed. Although your doctors strenuously argue against it, they ultimately let you choose to have 5 visitors. Knowing the dangers to those you love, who do you choose and why?

My beloved Mama, who would walk through Hell for me and never complain, so a little 'untreatable disease' thing would never faze her, let alone dissuade her. The rest is a bit tricky...while I have several good friends, I'm not sure any of them would volunteer to go on a suicide mission essentially to come see me. That's not saying bad about them, it's just to all of their benefits: they all enjoy and fully appreciate life. And honestly, knowing that, I'm not sure I'd invite any of them knowing the risks. If I was going to wither away, though, I'd want a minister/clergy/priest also near their end to discuss religion and/or philosophy with...I fully admit I need to be right with God, but the doubts still remain. On the 'damnation' side, though, there is at least 1 person in Oz I'd invite to come see me...but I'd be very tempted to not mention the dangers. Still vengeful even on my deathbed, I guess.

5. You know you have faults, and you know you have attributes. However, your last job evaluation just came back stinging with criticism. You love your job and want to stay. Your career counselor/mentor realises that many of the criticisms listed are the same ones ex-friends, ex-lovers, etc., have also voiced about you. He/she suggests you acknowledge 5 of those criticisms and get to work. What 5 faults do you choose to work on, who initially suggested it, and why?

Bad area for me, but here goes: (1) lack of tolerance to other people's wishes to 'just be' where they are now, forever (from an ex-friend); (2) insensitivity to those who didn't have a pleasant childhood or good home life (from another ex-friend, although she could never vocalize it well); (3) lack of determination to actually to see some dreams through to the end, constantly 'overthinking' things (from so many people over time I've lost count); (4) bad self-image and decreased self-confidence over the last few years (a current and ex-boss); and (5) to be too trusting with people I don't know as well as I should (an ex-friend in Oz). Why do I need to work on these? Hmmm...hate to admit it, but it's because I keep repeating the same behaviours and getting hurt in the process.

A word of thanks...to a person who made my day

I'm very rushed for time for the next couple of days (have a critique to finish writing wise and have two new computers to add/change over at work tomorrow), but I wanted to extend a word of 'thanks' to a new reader who has been kind enough to get my Aussie 'music collection' education (such as it is) more up to snuff. Although I know he's swamped right now with work responsibilities, I think he still reads regularly here. So, mate, a big 'good onya' and many, many thanks. Hope things are at least tolerable (if not overwhelmingly pleasant) for you in The City by the Bay.

And, what prompted it all (not that the 'tutoring' didn't warrant a large thanks already): a quote today I saw in a training module at work. It seems to be very applicable to the dialogue here, methinks.

When life knocks you down, try to land on your back. Because if you can look up, you can get up. Let your reason get you back up. - Les Brown

"Khe Sahn", an Oz classic by Cold Chisel

Here's to all of the wanderers in the world (like myself), who are still looking to find themselves and their direction...whether it be in the US, Europe, Australia, or with 'some jaded Chinese princess' in Hong Kong. May we all get to where we're going, whatever path that may be, however long that takes.



Some background on the performing band, Cold Chisel, (yes, Aussie readers, their legend is still largely unknown in the US of A, believe it or not) is from Wikipedia references here. The Wikipedia also has some interesting facts about this song, too.

The lyrics below are from the Cold Chisel website. As yes, in a nod to the irony of it all and as all my faithful readers will here will attest, I change the lyrics when singing this to: "You know the last plane out to Sydney's almost gone." Just because Jimmy Barnes and Co may want to leave Oz, doesn't mean I necessarily would.

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"Khe Sahn"
Performed by Cold Chisel, circa 1978
I left my heart to the sappers round Khe Sanh
And my soul was sold with my cigarettes to the blackmarket man
I've had the Vietnam cold turkey
From the ocean to the Silver City
And it's only other vets could understand

About the long forgotten dockside guarantees
How there were no V-day heroes in 1973
How we sailed into Sydney Harbour
Saw an old friend but couldn't kiss her
She was lined, and I was home to the lucky land

And she was like so many more from that time on
Their lives were all so empty, till they found their chosen one
And their legs were often open
But their minds were always closed
And their hearts were held in fast suburban chains
And the legal pads were yellow, hours long, paypacket lean
And the telex writers clattered where the gunships once had been
But the car parks made me jumpy
And I never stopped the dreams
Or the growing need for speed and novacaine

So I worked across the country end to end
Tried to find a place to settle down
Where my mixed up life could mend
Held a job on an oil-rig
Flying choppers when I could
But the nightlife nearly drove me round the bend

And I've travelled round the world from year to year
And each one found me aimless, one more year the more for wear
And I've been back to South East Asia
But the answer sure ain't there
But I'm drifting north, to check things out again

You know the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
Only seven flying hours, and I'll be landing in Hong Kong
There ain't nothing like the kisses
From a jaded Chinese princess
I'm gonna hit some Hong Kong mattress all night long

Well the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
Yeah the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
And it's really got me worried
I'm goin' nowhere and I'm in a hurry
And the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone.

Just return November and Thanksgiving safely...and Santa won't get hurt

It's November 10 here. November 10, for Pete's sake. You'd never know it, though, for all of the Christmas hubbub that is in its complete, balls-to-the-wall, 'fa la lala la, la la la la' glory.

I remember a time...not too terribly long ago, actually...where there existed this well-loved holiday between Halloween and Christmas called Thanksgiving. It generally fell on the fourth Thursday of the month of November, generally celebrated at an elderly relative's house and featured ham, turkey, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes and gravy, and pumpkin pie...or some combination thereof. It was like the 'holiday warm-up' for what was to come on Christmas. In fact, some people actually preferred Thanksgiving to Christmas, as it was less push for the 'perfect present' and more for the 'perfect roasted' something er nother. So you made it through the fun of Halloween, then hunkered down in the kitchen (if you were female) or around the TV watching football (if you were male) for Thanksgiving. With some luck, Thanksgiving would go well enough (i.e., no family members had made threats to one another nor stormed off in an argument) that all the group would hit the malls the day after Thanksgiving to start on the Christmas shopping. Some Norman Rockwell types would even go and purchase and decorate their Christmas trees during those long Thanksgiving weekends. The 'after Thanksgiving' plan was genius, actually, even if the family wasn't getting along...it got everyone out of the house and away from all potential weapons. Christmas came in stages, with more and more emphasis on 'getting the right gift' as December 25th drew near...but at least it came in stages. And it always came after Thanksgiving.

But Thanksgiving, God help it, apparently has been eclipsed as a commerically-celebrated American holiday (it has long since been eclipsed as a traditional one, theoretically started by the earliest Americans when they ate in peace with the Native Americans they were so trying to co-exist with) and didn't get the memo. Christmas has invaded and I'm just wondering when exactly Christmas starts now. I know that Thanksgiving's been slipping, and I hate it for the old day, I do. But now those post-Thanksgiving but pre-Christmas rituals have moved into a zone of which I am profoundly uncomfortable. For example: the day after Halloween (November 1 for those overseas bound) not one, but TWO, radio stations here started playing 'Happy Holidays' music 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, from that day forward through New Year's Day. (Yet another reason Clear Channel should be shut down.) Let me repeat that for those of you, like myself, who initially missed the stupidity of the message...for approximately 60 days here, every day and every night some damn version of "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town", "All I Want For Christmas", "Silver Bells" and who knows what else will play endlessly, whether we're ready for the free for all that Christmas has become or not. The local Wal-Mart (another reason to avoid Wal-Mart in my opinion, too) had their fake fur-covered snowmen on sale in mid-October, their spray- flocked miniature Christmas trees out before then (because nothing says Christmas like fake white fur from Korea and spray-flocked green metal) .

It's bad enough we had made Thanksgiving and Christmas a credit card spree in our vain attempts to 'one up' our friends, our neighbours, even our own family members. It's bad enough Thanksgiving had stooped to the point that the very nature of the holiday...bringing people together for a peaceful meal...had been usurped in the 'me too' quest for the more organic gobbler, the more seasoned julienned vegetables, the more excess with food the better. It's worse perhaps (depending on your religion, of course) that we've tapped into every possible angle of Christmas to seize upon the birth of Jesus Christ and make some pocket change in the process. Christmas is no longer about the celebration of a humble child in a manger, but about who can get whatever toy is the coolest, and the soonest, in whatever and by all means necessary. If Jesus was at the mall these days, he'd get trampled over Himself by all the soccer moms hellbent to get the Jesus doll that gyrates, teaches spelling, and has perfectly positioned plastic eyes from China. So someone, somewhere, has decided that we Americans can't get enough of this lunacy, so let's bring Christmas out sooner!!! Never mind the fact that millions of Americans overspend on their holiday shopping, and never mind that overspending occurs at a time when even fewer now can afford to do so. Never mind that we don't even know our neighbours anymore...it's important instead to have the flashiest, more expensive, most prosperous (looking anyway) house on the block. Just because Jesus self-sacrificed doesn't mean the rest of us have to...besides, He would want us to have that fancy necklace for Sunday service, right? Right??

So, here I am, on November 10th, having just returned from getting mundane supplies at the regionally-owned discount store. And although it's a small store, there was not one damn inch of the place left that did not scream 'Christmas purchase wanna-be'. There was half an aisle for pumpkin pie filling which made me temporarily happy not everyone had forgotten Thanksgiving...until I turned the corner and read the red and green sign: "make some for Santa!" I'm disgusted, and not only because seemingly our worthiness is only equal to the gifts we give/receive with others, but because we are so damn willing to toss away tradition (and American-specific holidays) in favour of getting the earliest purchase of a widescreen TV on the block. It's all too apparent Thanksgiving as I knew it as a child is gone, long gone. But unfortunately so is whatever made the anticipation and celebration of Christmas so special, too.

Call me Scrooge if you want, folks, I don't care and my position remains the same: this 'buy buy buy' DNA strand in the modern holiday season is wrong. Maybe it's me, but if we're always prepping for it, paying for it, or buying early for it...religious holiday or no...after awhile, this 'holiday' is anything but that, and instead is just another monthly financial 'obligation'. And that's not a 'holiday' I want to spend with any present nor with any person at all.

That said, I'm thinking we should embrace this absurdity and make money off the moneymakers who perpetuated this crap in the first place. Let's expand the holiday season to something year round, or maybe something seasonal...no longer would the US and Europe and others above the Equator share the holiday with our friends from the Southern Hemisphere, but instead celebrate only when "White Christmas" is even a remote possibility for each. Theoretically, this could mean we could have two potential windfalls, one about every six months, if we're willing to travel. Double the holiday, double the holiday sales! And just imagine if we widened it out like we do with the asinine number of world time periods...every time zone could host the festivities exclusively for a certain number of days then (imagine a slow version of what happens as each zone falls into a new year now). Then there's the name...since Christ is not the big seller from what I've seen of this year's forthcoming Christmas, maybe a name change (voted on in all of the major malls, of course) is long overdue. Maybe we should call it Santamas, or to really hit the spirit of it all, maybe take on a corporate endorser like so many professional sports teams or NASCAR® have now, like "ABC&D's Merry Holiday Season" (we've gotta be politically correct, too, lest we offend any potential shoppers). You'd think countless credit card programs would practically fall over themselves to sponsor "MaxCredit's Santamas in July". Then we could have 'official' fake Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer lawn ornaments and all...the financial goldmine that's possible boggles the mind.

Until then, I guess I'll have to limit my purchases to agnostic looking grocery stores, online, thrift stores, or bare-bones warehouse surplus centers. I waited 5 minutes to check out tonight with my purchases and was forced to listen to The Chipmunks sing Christmas 'ballads' over the Muzak system...and I seriously was contemplating doing physical harm to the sound system should I have found its location. (After hearing "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)" again, I am certain this must be a song we're using in all of our illegal terrorist holding centers as a form of torture...probably far more effective than waterboarding.) I see it's going to be a very long time until the New Year...already.

And for those of you who 'live' for Christmas, like my dear Mama...Santa's making an early appearance this year at 5 local malls and/or shopping venues before (ahem) Thanksgiving. Get going, folks, there's bound to be a sleigh-themed pot holder on sale.

Halloween 2006...Franklin Street

Another photo essay of recent events...(but hey, I'm only about a week behind now, rejoice at the speed of contributions!)

One of the most glorious holidays we have here is Halloween, a holiday where everyone can be a star, or a horse, or a spacewoman, or whatever they damn well want to be, depending entirely on costume and only limited by their own creativity and budget. It may be the only night still existing in America where absolutely no holds are barred in regards to dress, makeup, 'fun' behaviour (in adults and children alike), excessive alcohol and chocolate consumption, and independent expression. And maybe there's something to this, I dunno: the costumes are always so much more outrageous when Republicans are in political control (or were still, at least last week).

So every year, 50,000 or so of my best and newest friends invade about (the main) 8 blocks of downtown Chapel Hill, home of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (oldest public university in the United States, by the way) And it's always a blast, a 'see and come to be seen' kind of event. Thank God this year it was still warm outside that night: that helped crowd participation and also led to some rather revealing 'costumes' for both the men and the women to enjoy. (And, with God as my witness, I never imagined 'the Borat bikini' would look good on any man, but gladly was proven wrong. If properly worn by a fit and/or reasonably muscled man with well-groomed or little body hair...well, like everything in fashion, it depends who's wearing it that matters.)

(right) Just getting started, at around 10pm. It all gets going with an intro 'meet and greet' time when everybody starts 'cruising' up and down Franklin Street (old-timers: think 'cruising' from George Lucas' classic "American Graffiti"® movie and you'll get the general gist of things)

(left) A fellow gawker (and exchange student from Turk-menistan), warily but excitedly taking in not only her first Chapel Hill Halloween, but also her first Halloween holiday ever (not a bad mask for a first-timer, eh?)

(left) A roving six pack of Duff brand beer. Duff is a fictional (as far as I know) brand of beer, made famous by Homer Simpson on "The Simpsons"® TV show

(right) Yes, he was what you think that is, although he had problems maintaining proper 'pressure' inside, it seemed...somewhere down the street some frat brothers were an oversized pack of condoms, I've wondered if they met up later. Incidentally, "One Night Stand" man was back this year, too (a man literally wearing a night stand on his body with a lamp on his head)...he followed Penis Man (probably just by accident, except for the Hare Krishnas no serious social statements are made at this event, just there for fun and costumes only)

(left) The Tarheel (North Carolina's legendary nickname) version of The Great Pumpkin, heavily watched by the local and state police who cardoned off Franklin Street complete with weapon body checks, multiple squad cars, and mounted policemen on horseback

Do the Right Thing...

Shameless plug (coz, after all, it is the season, and she is my Mama): if you're legally eligible to, please consider voting for the Mama in her latest electoral contest. We thank you in advance for your support.

Y'all Come Back Now, Hear

Today's will be a short written (but visual) post, because (a) unexpected fan belt check and possible replacement on the trusty workhorse truck, and because (b) I've been terribly tardy in posting so many observations, pictures, opinions about the music, movies, and people I have recently encountered. Now that I can sleep relatively undisturbed again thanks to the new tooth and temporary crown, I'll try and make up for the past slights. (And I shall never complain about my tooth pain again...there, done. At least for today...LOL.)

For those who've been looking for their 'mention' on this blog...well, that's never guaranteed, but for those that are 'worthy' of one and know I talked to them about their possible inclusion, all I can say is: have patience, grasshoppers. I'm getting there, believe me. (If somebody out in the local area wants to come and evaluate and fix the fan belt while I go type...)

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As many of you know, I grew up in a rural upbringing quite a bit different from what I know now, and even further still from what I want to live like in the future. It's not like I live in a metropolis now, but it is an entire galaxy away from what I did for most of my life prior to coming here. Consider it something akin to the Country Mouse wants to go live it up someday with the City Mouse or something. To paraphrase the Ben Folds song: right now, I'm rockin' the suburbs. But, Lord knows, the 'burbs is quite the evolutionary triumph for me and I'm relatively happy about how I got here.

Back in that small town of my 'wonder years', everything was essentially closed at 7pm (if you were lucky that the drive-in takeaway food diner had enough business to stay open even that late), everybody knew everybody else (and unfortunately also all of their personal dramas including abuses and affairs), the post office was open at 8am and all the mail was posted by 825am (leaving the clerk the rest of the day to drink umpteen cups of coffee and recount his unsold stamp inventory), the only thing residing in multiples there were the churches (Baptist, Christian, and Protestant, in no particular order), and (no, I am not making this up) you could still charge your gasoline and groceries on verbal credit only at the local, overly-priced convenience store and pay off that bill once a month. For some of you who have known me forever (well, at least as long as I am willing to admit, anyway), you know that absolutely nothing in that small town (or hell, any of the small towns that surround it) has changed except maybe a few more deaths and a few less births. You also know how determined I was to leave and never be 'that way' again...I was embarrassed I knew more about cows than Chaucer or Caruso, and positively mortified that I could perhaps die that way.

So those long-time friends and new found mates alike will have a good chuckle here with today's update. I recently went voluntarily to the North Carolina State Fair, spent the entire day there (and mostly in the crafts and livestock areas to boot), and absolutely adored it. No, I did not reinvest in cowboy boots (an item which I have not had in years due to a financial crunch, but I made a good sale at the time), nor did I meet some enterprising, single or handsome poultry farmer looking for an oddball wife. I did, however, relish something that time that I did not comprehend as a youngster who was quite literally dragged to these things before: there is a nature, a simplicity if you will, in the stamina of life at the Fair. The constancy in that the Fair represents a time capsule of where we've come from, and where we are going to, even if that means reminding us just a 100 years ago many of us were still in horsedrawn wagons and buggies.



Hay is hay, pigs are pigs, cotton candy will always be cotton candy. The Fair, no matter if it's local, state, regional or national, is The Fair. It's the original exhibition convention of all that year's work and toil and talent...whether it be a prized goat or a mammoth pumpkin.

The Fair has its own smells, like the addictively-sweet aroma of a freshly powder-sugared funnel cake, hot from the oil and dusted with cinnamon.

It also lures you in with some ungodly 'once a year' food concoctions, too, like Deep Fried Twinkies®, elephant ears, and Oreos®.





The Midway always has its young lovers having fights, and then making up, on the ferris wheel...with their massively oversized stuffed animals and balloons in tow.




The Crafts Barns feature the artisans and giftmakers teaching forgotten trades with ancient implements, to an audience of rapt would-be students frustrated with technology and throw-away goods.



And for the city folk, it's an opportunity to actually see if they can do 'the easy work' of living and working on a farm...even if that means trying to milk a cow for the first time and with a lot of 'hands-on' experience nearby.


But it's for the little kids who have come to their first-ever Fair that we should rejoice. Soon, perhaps all too soon, the family farm may be just a thing of distant memory to far too many of them. And with that disappearance would also go the small poultry farmers who bring in their chicks and ducks to the Fair, to an appreciative chorus of 'oohs' and 'ahhs' from all ages. Then we would all miss out on a chance to hold real baby chicks...and someday also watch our own young babes hold theirs in cupping yet trembling hands. (I admit it...I was having serious 'parent envy' at the children and young animals' petting barn.)

Truly, it was a great day to be alive and I can't wait to make it back there next year (if I can't find another Fair someplace sooner). While this may prove to you readers that they can't take the country out of the tomboy (girl), is also proves to me that it's the little things, too, that essentially give me the most pleasure. I'm very thankful I can understand and appreciate that fully now...and can smile knowing others do, too.

Oh, to have the Fair experience every day...hell, I'd settle for every weekend or even once a month...to have the joy of going and doing more of those wonderful things all the time, with some many others wanting to do exactly that same thing. To experience life firsthand...with all our God-given senses, learning and asking and trying and failing and trying again, with boundless curiousity...that's what life is all about anyway.